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01 | Previous Quotations
This page contains all the quotations that have rotated on the home page since version three. Quotations are a casual interest of mine and I'm fond of all the ones posted here. They could be considered a reasonably accurate reflection of my opinions.

Quote last changed on Nov. 10th, 2010
"I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork."
Peter de Vries

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."
Kin Hubbard

"...if I can do it, it's not art."
Rudy Giuliani

"He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Jesus Christ, Luke 22:36

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
Cato the Elder

"Brevity is the soul of wit."
William Shapespere, "Hamlet," Act 2 scene 2

"America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy."
John Updike

"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."
Oscar Levant

"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
Frank Zappa

"Times are not good here [in New Orleans]. The city is crumbling into ashes. It has been buried under a lava flood of taxes and frauds and maladministrations so that it has become only a study for archaeologists. Its condition is so bad that when I write about it, as I intend to do soon, nobody will believe I am telling the truth. But it is better to live here in sackcloth and ashes than to own the whole state of Ohio."
Lafcadio Hearn, 1877

"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge."
Bertrand Russell

"...laws were most numerous when the commonwealth was most corrupt."
Tacitus, Annals

"Tis sometimes the height of wisdom to feign stupidity."
Cato the Elder

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
Napoleon Bonaparte

"This above all; to thine own self be true."
William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, scene 3

"The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is."
John Lancaster Spalding

"Anything too stupid to be said is sung."

"The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid."
Art Spander

"The future is much like the present, only longer."
Dan Quisenberry

"Never pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel."
Mark Twain

"I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good."
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

"There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist."
Ayn Rand

"Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third."
Knute Rockne

"He who is not aware of his ignorance will only be misled by his knowledge."
Richard Whatley

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance."

"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."
Truman Capote

"Apple Computer is the corporate equivalent of the NFL's Oakland Raiders: tight-lipped, secretive, surly, completely self-absorbed."
Tony Long

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."
Benjamin Franklin

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
Steven Wright

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
Mark Twain

"Familiarity breeds contempt, while rarity wins admiration."

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."
Thomas Jefferson

"The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation."
William Hutton

"The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There's far less competition."
Dwight Whitney Morrow

"Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation"
Kin Hubbard

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid; you must also be well-mannered."

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely."

"Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own."

"Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."
Alfred Hitchcock

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."

"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather."
Michael Pritchard

"What, Sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."
Mark Twain, January 11, 1868

"There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness."

"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
Sam Brown, Washington Post, 1977

"An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations."
Charles de Montesquieu

"The first person who, having fenced off a plot of ground, took it into his head to say 'this is mine' and found people simple enough to believe him, was the true founder of civil society."
Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The First and Second Discourses

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it."
André Gide

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."
Jackie Mason

"You must be prepared for further efforts of mind and body and further sacrifices to great causes, if you are not to fall back into the rut if inertia, the confusion of aim and the craven fear of being great."
Winston Churchill

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Pierre Choderlos De Laclos, in "Les Liaisons Dangereuses," 1782

"Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."
George Orwell

"Let the critics criticize and let the doers do."
Wynton Marsalis

"Let our patriotism be reflected in the creation of confidence rather than crusades of suspicion. Let us prove we think our country great by striving to make it greater. And, above all, let us remember that, however serious the outlook, the one great irreversible trend in world history is on the side of liberty -- and so, for all time to come, are we."
John F. Kennedy - November 18, 1961

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
Joseph Romm

"The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein

"It is well that war is so terrible; else we would grow too fond of it."
Robert E. Lee, 1862

"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man."
John F. Kennedy - Inaugural address, Jan. 20, 1961

"The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."
Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 B.C.

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."
Charles Wadsworth

"Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass."
Mark Twain's Notebook, 1898

"Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any."
Mark Twain

"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"
Kin Hubbard

"The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it."
Mark Twain

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know."
Mark Twain

"Art is either plagiarism or revolution."
Paul Gauguin

"The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool."
Mark Twain

"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problem is just as dumb as the next guy."
Richard Feynman

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
Walter Bagehot

"Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime."
G. Gordon Liddy

"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
Tom Stoppard

"What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance."
Henry Havelock Ellis

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
Michael Pritchard

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain

"No matter where you go, there you are."
Buckaroo Banzai

"It ain't over 'til it's over."
Yogi Berra

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Bill Cosby

"Risk everything, or gain nothing."
Geoffrey De Charny, 1358

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
Albert Einstein

"Magic is any sufficiently advanced technology."
Arthur C. Clarke

"The glory of the past is an illusion. So is the glory of the present."
Edward Johnston

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